Deciding to buy a home with your parents is the easy part. Figuring out how to actually get it done, who qualifies, where the down payment comes from, whose name goes on title, and what happens if someone’s home hasn’t sold yet, is where most families get stuck. This playbook walks through the process step by step, so you know exactly where to start and what questions to ask before you fall in love with a property.

If you’re just getting started, our First Time Home Buyer Guide From Start to Keys walks through the entire homebuying journey, from preparing your finances to getting the keys.

You can also explore our Homebuyer Resources for free buyer guides, calculators, checklists, and planning tools before beginning your home search.

Step 1: Start With the Vision

Before anyone talks numbers, get the whole family in the same room and get clear on the why. What does this arrangement actually need to look like day to day? Are your parents hoping for more togetherness, or do they want their own space with a door that closes? Does someone need single-story living, or a wheelchair-accessible layout? Is this about caregiving, building wealth together, or simply making homeownership possible for everyone at once?

Every family answers these questions differently, and there is no wrong answer. What matters is that everyone financially involved gets a say before you start touring homes. A family that agrees on the vision first saves months of frustration later.

Getting pre-approved early also gives your family a clear understanding of your budget before you begin looking at properties.

Step 2: Be Willing to Compromise

Once the vision is on the table, expect some give and take. Multi-generational purchases almost always ask someone to bend a little on what they originally pictured.

I worked with a widowed grandmother who was not thrilled that part of the funds from her cash-out refinance ended up paying off her son-in-law’s car loan. On paper, it felt unfair to her. But it was the piece that made the whole financing plan work, so the family sat down and reframed it: those funds became an early inheritance for her daughter. That single conversation turned a sore point into a plan everyone could live with. You will read the full story later in this playbook.

Compromise does not mean someone loses. It means the family finds the agreement that lets everyone move forward together.

Step 3: Get the Right Team in Place

Multi-generational financing is not a beginner transaction. You want a mortgage advisor who works in complex, multi-borrower scenarios regularly, not occasionally, along with a real estate agent who understands how these purchases differ from a standard sale. The right team will ask the questions your family has not thought to ask yet, and will flag issues (like title structure or occupancy rules) before they become a problem at the closing table.

This is exactly the kind of transaction I specialize in. If your family is exploring buying a home together, book a free strategy call with Amy DeBusk Home Loans and let’s map out your options before you start touring homes.

Step 4: Define the Property Criteria Together

With your vision and your team in place, translate everything into concrete property criteria. Think through accessibility needs, acreage or privacy for separate living quarters, ADU or granny unit potential, school districts or commute distance for younger family members, and how many bedrooms and bathrooms realistically fit the household. This is the step that turns a big family conversation into a real property search.

If you’re considering adding an ADU after purchasing, renovation financing may also be an option.

Real Client Story: The Multi-Gen Conventional Purchase

Mom, Dad, their adult daughter, and her husband all went on a conventional loan together, twenty percent down, all four names on the mortgage. Before closing, the daughter and her husband rented out their existing home to their own adult children, who could not yet afford to buy on their own and had twin boys of their own. That single decision kept three generations housed under family roofs at the same time.

The parents’ home, which they owned free and clear, had not sold yet when the new purchase closed, so we qualified the family carrying both properties at once. Once the parents’ home sold, the proceeds went straight toward paying down the new loan.

The family landed on a property with three acres in the country, wheelchair accessible for the aging parents, with room to eventually build a small tiny home on the land so the son-in-law could have some privacy of his own. The daughter, who has taken on the role of primary caregiver, also serves as trustee of the family’s estate.

Families comparing conventional financing with FHA should understand the advantages and tradeoffs of each loan program.

Your path to how you’re going to relocate becomes clear once you know your why.

Step 5: Map the Funding Sources

Every multi-generational purchase needs a clear answer to one question: where is the money coming from? The most common paths I see are:

• Selling an existing home outright and using the proceeds toward the new purchase
• A cash-out refinance on a property owned free and clear, to access equity for a down payment
• Pooling liquid funds from multiple family members
• Gift funds from a family member who is not on the loan

One rule that catches families off guard: you are only allowed one owner-occupied mortgage at a time per person. If your parents already have an owner-occupied mortgage on their current home and you are buying a new owner-occupied property together before that home sells, this rule shapes how the loan has to be structured from day one.

This is exactly why buying and selling at the same time takes real planning. Two common strategies make it work:

• A contingent offer, where your purchase of the new home is contingent on your current home selling first
• A buy-before-you-sell loan program, which lets you access equity or financing for the new home before your existing home closes

Both strategies exist specifically to navigate the one-owner-occupied-loan-at-a-time rule, and both require careful timing between your lender, your real estate agent, and the sale of the existing property.

Step 6: Make Sure Your Assets Are Mortgage Ready

Before you start moving money between accounts, selling investments, or accepting gift funds from family, let’s make sure everything is structured correctly.

One of the biggest surprises families encounter is discovering that not every asset is immediately ready to be used for a real estate transaction. A little planning upfront can save weeks of delays once you’re under contract.

Bank Accounts

Checking, savings, and money market accounts are the most common sources for your down payment and closing costs. During the loan process, we’ll review your recent bank statements to verify the funds are available and properly documented.

Proceeds From the Sale of Real Estate

If you’re selling another property to help purchase your new home, we’ll coordinate the timing of both transactions so everything works together as smoothly as possible.

Investment Accounts

Stocks, mutual funds, retirement accounts, and other investments can often be used toward your purchase. Depending on the type of account, funds may need to be liquidated before closing, so it’s important to discuss your options before making any financial decisions.

Gift Funds

Many families receive help from parents or grandparents, but the documentation requirements vary depending on the loan program.

For most conventional loans, a signed gift letter provided by Amy DeBusk Home Loans is generally all that’s required.

For FHA loans, we’ll also need the donor’s most recent bank statement along with the signed gift letter to document the source of the funds.

We’ll walk you through exactly what’s needed so there are no surprises.

For a complete walkthrough, watch our How to Document Gift Funds for Your Mortgage video to learn what documents are required and how to avoid delays during the loan process.

Cash Savings

If you’ve been saving cash at home over the years, don’t worry. Those funds can often still be used, but planning ahead is essential.

The cash should be deposited well before you begin the home buying process. As a general rule, I recommend allowing at least three full bank statement cycles before you plan to use those funds for your purchase. By the time we submit your loan for approval, we’d like to provide bank statements that no longer show the original cash deposit.

Let’s Build the Right Plan First

Before you move money between accounts, sell investments, deposit cash, or accept gift funds from family, schedule your free strategy call with Amy DeBusk Home Loans.

Together, we’ll review your financial picture, determine the best financing strategy, and help you avoid documentation issues that could delay your loan later.

Step 7: Get Everyone Pre-Approved Early

Once your family has a financing strategy in place, the next step is getting everyone who plans to be on the loan fully pre-approved.

This is one of the most important steps in the entire process.

We’ll review each borrower’s income, assets, employment, credit, and existing debt so we can determine the best loan program and identify any opportunities to strengthen your financing before you begin shopping for homes.

Sometimes that means paying down a credit card. Other times it means documenting additional income, adjusting the ownership structure, or simply gathering paperwork early so there are no surprises once you’re under contract.

The earlier we complete the pre-approval process, the more confident your family can be when it’s time to make an offer.

If your family is considering buying a home together, schedule your free strategy call with Amy DeBusk Home Loans. We’ll build your financing plan, answer everyone’s questions, and get every borrower fully pre-approved before you start touring homes.

Step 8: Shop for Your New Home and Get Into Contract

Now comes the fun part.

With your financing strategy complete and every borrower fully pre-approved, it’s time to start shopping for the home your family has been dreaming about.

This is where having the right real estate agent makes all the difference. A Premier Real Estate Agent understands your family’s goals, communicates with everyone involved, and helps you navigate negotiations once you’ve found the right property.

One thing many first-time multi-generational buyers don’t realize is that no money changes hands simply because you’re looking at homes. Your earnest money deposit is typically due after your offer has been accepted and you’re officially in contract on a property.

Knowing your financing is already in place allows your family to shop with confidence instead of wondering whether a home is affordable.

Divide and Conquer

Buying with multiple family members becomes much easier when everyone has a role.

For example:

• One or two family members may take the lead on searching for homes and scheduling tours.

• Another family member may organize financial documents or communicate with me throughout the loan process.

• Someone else may focus on inspections, contractors, or researching neighborhoods.

When everyone understands their responsibilities, the process becomes much less stressful and everyone feels included in the decision.

Most importantly, continue communicating throughout the process. The conversations you had at the beginning of this journey should continue until the day you receive your keys.

Step 9: From Contract to Closing Day

Congratulations! Your offer has been accepted.

Once you’re in contract, my team at Amy DeBusk Home Loans gets to work behind the scenes coordinating with your real estate agent, escrow, title company, insurance agent, and everyone involved to keep your transaction moving forward.

We’ll guide you through every milestone, including:

• Finalizing your loan approval

• Ordering the appraisal

• Reviewing inspections

• Satisfying underwriting conditions

• Preparing your final loan documents

• Coordinating your signing appointment

You’ll always know what comes next because we’ll be communicating with you every step of the way.

One of the biggest compliments my clients give us is that they never feel like they’re navigating the process alone.

From contract to getting the keys to your family’s new home can take as little as 21 days with Amy DeBusk Home Loans, depending on your loan program and the details of your transaction.

Then comes my favorite day of all…

Move-In Day.

There is nothing quite like watching multiple generations walk through the front door of a home they’ll build memories in for years to come.

Whether it’s grandparents helping with the grandchildren, adult children caring for aging parents, or simply creating a home where everyone feels connected, you’ve accomplished something truly special.

Welcome home.

Final Thoughts

Buying a home together isn’t simply about qualifying for a mortgage. It’s about creating a plan that brings your family together while respecting everyone’s goals, finances, and future.

Some of the most important conversations happen long before an offer is written. My role is to help guide those conversations, answer the difficult questions, and build a financing strategy that gives your family confidence before you ever start shopping for homes.

Together with your Premier Real Estate Agent, we’ll help you communicate openly, navigate important decisions, and create a clear roadmap from your first strategy meeting to move-in day.

Every family’s journey looks a little different, but with the right plan and the right team, homeownership can become the foundation for greater security, stronger relationships, and lasting generational wealth.

If your family is thinking about buying a home together, I’d love to help. Schedule your complimentary strategy session with Amy DeBusk Home Loans. We’ll answer your questions, build a personalized financing plan, get every borrower fully pre-approved, and guide your family every step of the way, from your first conversation to the day you receive the keys to your new home.

Additional Resources

For general, non-commercial background on the homebuying process, two federal resources are worth bookmarking:

• The U.S. Department of Housing and Urban Development (HUD.gov) offers a plain-language overview of the homebuying process, FHA loan basics, and access to HUD-approved housing counselors.
• The Consumer Financial Protection Bureau (consumerfinance.gov) publishes clear, unbiased guidance on down payment sources, gift funds, and what to expect from your lender during underwriting.

❓FAQs about Buying a Home With Your Parents in California: Your Step-by-Step Playbook